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Thursday, July 30, 2009


I am trying to come up with all of the things that I am feeling right now, and it is so hard putting it into words. Being pregnant ties up your thoughts and feelings and then puts them in a blender, mixes them up, and then instead of coming out in words, they come out of your eyes: tears.

I have been known as the crier for a while. Years ago, when I worked as a manager at Lane Bryant, crying a typical thing, especially in the last year that I worked there. When someone would upset me, and I was really mad, instead of getting mad, I would just cry. Then, that same character trait followed me to my new position as a Customer Service rep at a credit counseling agency (and yes... this company was legit and worked). Typically I would cry if I felt that I had been treated badly by a customer or got angry with a co-worker. I cried a lot when I got a new supervisor, because at first, I really didn't like her, and she didn't like me. It was a personality thing, but once we finally realized that our personalities were different, and by working together, we were a stronger team and couldn't be beat. Of course, I acredit Tracy(my Sup) to helping me harden my shell, and not cry at the drop of a hat.

Now however... being pregnant with this little boy that is doing somersaults in my belly, I cry every day. It can be just the pain that I am experiencing with my back, or that I feel like my husband is not really taking my feelings into account, I get the information that my Aunt Sandy is coming to Ohio(that one made me bawl like a baby!!!), or I just feel like crying. You know it is bad when your daughter comes up to you and says... "Mama? Crying?" And I have to respond... "Yes baby... I am crying".

How do you control this while you are pregnant. You can't... you just have to carry a lot of tissue and don't wear makeup.


sara said...

Oh, girl - my heart feels for you! I have found that my thirties are particularly hard!! My time of the month (I swear) makes me so emotional and what used to take 3 days, now takes 2 weeks - the leading up to it & the trailing off are the worst (emotionally!) I just wonder sometimes why God made us the way He did!! And now that I am "done" having babies, it is especially hard to go through all the hormonal junk! It'll get better though once baby boy is born :=)

Fire Wife said...

I remember when I was pregnant I would cry and FireMan would just look at me. More often than not I would just say "I don't even know why!" thru the tears. LOL.