Hi everyone. I appreciate all of your sweet thoughts, prayers and concerns, as well as checking up on me. I did have my Dr appointment yesterday, and unfortunately, I don't have a lot of great news to report. I will start from the beginning. *** Disclaimer*** I am going to be pretty honest, and I apologize for any grossness. :)
We got to the Dr's office about 15 minutes early, and signed it. After an hour and a half of waiting, (they were really busy and I was lucky to even get in) we finally got to see the Dr. I really love my Dr. He is sooo kind and very sympathetic. He was actually on the cover of Cincinnati Magazine for Top Doctors. He is the best! Anyway...
So, he came in and we talked for a few minutes, and I could tell by the way that he looked, when I said that I was still bleeding that he was not happy about what was going on. He did an internal sonogram, and when he started looking around, I could tell that this was not really going to be one of those really happy sonograms, where I would be going away afterwards with a cute little picture of our precious peanut. What he was seeing was this large dark spot on the sonogram screen, which he says turned out to be a blod clot. There were two rather large spots on the sonogram screen, and he said that from what he could tell, the second of the 2 spots was actually the ebryotic development. He said that he could not detect a heartbeat, but that could have just been maybe because I was not as far along as I was thinking that I was. So... he wanted me to have a blood test, and they would check my hCG levels, and then I would have to come back on Wednesday, and they would do another blood test. He said that if the levels double, then there is a baby. But... if the levels go down at all, then I am, or have, miscarried. He did say that I would be having some cramping with the passing of the blood clots, and if I was miscarrying, then it could be pretty severe.
After our appointment, mom and I went to have lunch at Red Robin's, and as good as that place is, it really didn't cheer me up at all. Go figure.
Once we finally got home, I set up residence in my trusty recliner and that is when it started. I started feeling these unbelievable cramps. I am pretty sure, that if I had gone into labor with Grace(I had a C-section, and never had a single contraction), this is what it would have felt like. I began to pass the clots that he said that I would. It was definitely an uncomfortable situation. I began passing several really large clots, and as far as I know, that was all that they were. The "contractions" lasted for about 2 hours, on and off every couple of minutes, and then once they stopped, I have just continued on like a fairly normal period, which is also what the Dr said I would be doing.
Now... as for the emotional part, I am not really sure how I am doing. I have cried a lot, and of course, just asked why, but then, I rationalize it as, it was just not in God's plans for us right now. God has us in His hands, and knows why this is happening. Some day, I will know, but for now, I have to focus on several facts. First, I have an absolutely BEAUTIFUL little girl, that I need to be strong for and take care of. Second, we should be able to try again, which I am sure that my husband will be very happy about. :) And third, it is going to be ok. I have to trust that He know what he is doing, and if I am faithful, it will be ok.
Thank you all for your prayers, and continued prayers throughout our bump in the road. I love you all, and will hopefully have some more definitely news on Thursday. :)